The Power Of Cooling Your Jets

In a world that increasingly prizes speed and efficiency, choosing to cool your jets and connect is one of the most powerful things a leader can do.

I lost my mom earlier this year. She was not a trained motivational speaker or business guru but like a lot of moms, she always knew how to say something that would penetrate both my heart and mind. One of her favorite phrases to use when I got too worked up about a baseball game or a run-in with one of my sisters was – “cool your jets”. Little did I know that she was ahead of her time in teaching me what came to be known as emotional intelligence or EQ.

In today's fast-paced workplace, technical skills, and IQ can only take a leader so far. What truly separates good leaders from great ones is emotional intelligence — the ability to understand and manage your own emotions while recognizing and influencing the emotions of those around you. Research shows that EQ predicts 67% of a leader's effectiveness, outpacing both IQ and technical expertise. Simply put, how we connect with people matters more than we often realize.

The impact of emotional intelligence on team performance is well-documented. Emotionally intelligent leaders create environments where people feel seen, heard, and valued — and that translates directly into results. Teams led by self-aware leaders make better decisions, collaborate more effectively, and stay more engaged. When a leader walks into a room, their emotional tone sets the temperature for everyone in it. A leader who manages their emotions well gives their team permission to do the same.

Emotionally intelligent leaders create environments where people feel seen, heard, and valued — and that translates directly into results.

Empathy sits at the heart of emotional intelligence, and it is arguably the most powerful tool a leader can develop. Development Dimensions International (DDI) research ranks empathy as the #1 leadership skill — and for good reason. Empathetic leaders retain top talent, resolve conflict more effectively, and build the kind of trust that keeps high performers around for the long haul. The difference between a low-EQ response and a high-EQ response in a difficult moment can define a team member’s entire experience of their workplace. People may forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Emotional intelligence also shapes individual performance in profound ways. Self-regulation — the ability to pause before reacting, respond thoughtfully instead of impulsively, and stay composed under pressure — prevents the kind of reactive leadership that erodes culture over time. Self-awareness helps leaders identify blind spots before those blind spots become blind sides. And intrinsic motivation, another core component of EQ, drives leaders to pursue excellence not for recognition or reward, but because they genuinely care about the work and the people they serve.

The encouraging news is that emotional intelligence is not a fixed trait — it grows with intentional practice. Building EQ starts with small, consistent habits: listening actively without jumping to solutions, seeking honest feedback from those around you, naming your emotions rather than suppressing them, and making a daily effort to understand what drives the people on your team. These aren’t complicated strategies. They are human ones. And in a world that increasingly prizes speed and efficiency, choosing to cool your jets and connect is one of the most powerful things a leader can do.